an empty place v3.5

So there I was, on my way home at lunch yesterday when I see this white car spin through an intersection I am rapidly approaching. After they bounce off a reinforced light pole and shoot back into the intersection (apparently the driver had buried their foot into the accelerator rather than the brake) I see the blue car with the rumpled front end wobble through. Somebody ran the light and I begin plotting a better path home. There were a good thirty people around the intersection and ajacent parking lots that got a better vantage point than I had so I could focus on avoiding this mess when I head back to work in an hour. And believe it or not, you would have never known an accident had occurred about an hour later.

My buddy B-Rice sent me a link (here's another link 'cause I'm generous) to YouTube (does Google own them yet?) showing a couple videos of a New Wave Trent Reznor [Answers.com; Everything2.com] and his band Option 30. What a different way to look at the man of pain and misery. What's really funny is that in one of these videos they are covering one of Billy Idol's hits "Eyes Without A Face" and for the past week or two I have been listening to Idol's albums on Y!ME.

Woomba
I cannot put into words how hard I laughed while watching this.

According to these pictures on Flickr, KFC and Taco Bell (divisions of YUM! Brands Inc. [Hoovers]) have started down the path of automation. What exactly does this mean? It seems to me that by doing this you are reducing even further the level of customer service training our youth are receiving. When I worked at Taco Bell a very long time ago customer service was stressed by management. I mean it was a BIG deal. And at 14, that experience made for an excellent foundation. These days however, it hardly seems as though customer service is as emphasized as it was. Sure, the onus of responsibility would lie with management and enforcing higher levels of service as well as with the clerk. There's no denying that.

So what happens when they add these ATM-esque human replacements? It is just one more excuse to not practice higher standards of service. But still, I don't see how even supplementing the face-to-face experience with a non-human interface is going to help. If it takes 90 seconds from the time an order is placed to delivery, that's how long it is going to take. Period. The problem is, once you punch in your order and slide your card, those 90 seconds are going to seem to take longer than it would if you were actually being forced to interact with that pimple-faced slacker. Trust me, computers don't like to chit-chat. No matter how much you chatter, poke, and glare at them, they just don't care that it would be a great day to be at the beach but its stuck in this hell hole for another 4 hours because the manager is a prick.

You just can't commiserate with a machine.

So, this morning I learned a couple things. First, we as a familial unit, "cannot get ready in 30 minutes without getting ready in 30 minutes." Second, "some of us cannot listen unless it is absolutely quite." Damn, that's some pretty heavy stuff first thing in the morning.

Exploding CPU
This one was really good, not only do they overclock an AMD to 4GHz and blow a hole through the MoBo and the table it is sitting on but they're also listening to CKY. I like these guys.

The Waterbed
Apparently in Holland (or someplace other than the US) they mean what they say.

Girl Caught Cheating
Oops!

I had my follow up visit this morning, I let the doctor know how insanely painful the procedure was and he was shocked. He said I was the first person in years to tell him that. He suggested that the pain may have been caused by either that I'd had the procedure the same day as my consultation (where they administered the dilating and "other" drops) or that I am among the small percentage of people with a higher tolerance to anesthetics. And considering what all I took last night that may be true. But, I am happy that it is over though and that my eye sight as of this morning's visit is 20/20 and still healing - possibly getting better.

And now, today:
My left eye does not seem to be at the same level of clarity as my right. In fact, at 10 feet or so, things are rather blurry. The Lasik people told me there would be days where my vision does not seem as sharp or clear as maybe it did the day before and that both eyes will heal at different rates. Something about swelling and healing blah blah blah. I'm not very concerned at the moment but it is a little unnerving. Also, I've noticed a slower focus/response time in high speed situations than when I wore glasses. I guess I can't complain yet, it hasn't even been a week since the procedure and my eyes are still healing.

Thirty one years ago to the day I single handedly put a young couple in the hospital. To make matters worse, we were in a foreign country far from their supporting friends and family. In a violent display of selfishness, I made it my sole purpose in life to cause this young woman great pain for own personal gain. The young man pacing helpless in the corridors of the military hospital waited, plotted, most likely cursing my name. His name. Our name. Less than two years later these two had divorsed. Coincidence? Possibly. Inevitable? Most certainly.
Fast forward 31 years to today, I'm older now, wiser, we all are. The young woman from before has recovered nicely and forgiven me the pain I caused. The young man has taken steps, albeit small ones, to get to know me. And I love them both.
Thank you Dad, for "doing" my Mom. Thank you Mom, for deciding I was worth all the trouble. Thank you both for everything. Absolutely everything.

I had an appointment this morning for an evaluation of candidacy for Lasik. I have been considering this procedure for several years but have been, well, to put it plainly scared. I mean come on, you only get two eyes and mine were already defective. In fact, if it weren't for M making the appointment for me this wouldn't have happened at all. So, because I was fairly nervous about this I ended up at the office an hour early.
As I sat filling out my paperwork, I couldn't help but watch two procedures being performed through the glass barrier separating the lobby from the exam room. The first patient, a woman in her early forties, climbed off the table, donned her sunglassed and laughed with her hubby and child as the walked out of the office. The second patient was a man slightly older and equally pleased with this procedure.
After my initial exam I waited in the lobby with dilated eyes to see the doctor and witnessed a third and fourth procedure. Each took less than ten minutes and the patients all hopped off the table with a huge grin and took to the streets. I was totally amazed that I was able to schedule my procedure to be performed only five hours after my initial consult. Rock on!
I went to work and goofed off for about twenty minutes chatting it up with my boss and hit the road to get things ready for this afternoon's miracle session. Man, everything just kinda flew by. It occurs to me now that I didn't even talk to my cube mate about this, sorry Mike, I'll catch you up Monday. Getting my 'script (65 bones for 5mL is insane), coordinating a ride at the last minute, getting there, it all seemed so surreal.
At the vision center, waiting for my turn under the laser, I got the opportunity to speak with a gentleman that I'd just watched get "done". He said, "I didn't feel anything, it was weird." Through all of the waiting I did not feel a bit anxious or nervous. It all seemed old hat. I guess after witnessing firsthand a half dozen procedures and people walking out as if nothing had happened I'd gotten it into my head that there was nothing to it. That's where I was dead wrong.
Now, I know pain. I've had tattoos, dental work, broken bones (and teeth), torn ligs and a rotator cuff. I had an eleven day migrain headache from a botched spinal tap, I've been struck squarely in the eye with a 95 mph (its speed was measured during that pitch) fast ball, but I've never in my life felt a pain this bad before. From start to finish and five hours following I was in such agony that I couldn't even stand up. I kept telling the doctor during the procedure that it hurt and he kept telling me that it didn't. "This really hurts man," I'd say. "No it doesn't," he'd immediately respond. "Dude, this really fucking hurts!" I raised my voice. "Now now" he said. The assistant slightly gasped next to me.
How could I describe it? Imagine getting soap in your eyes, not that new shit you'd use on your kids but that old dish soap with a little too much lye in it. Then take a screw driver and start jabbing yourself in the right eye while trying to "keep your other eye open." Now repeat in the left eye. I don't know if that's how it'd feel but you deserve it for asking such a dumb question. It hurt dammit!
For the next five hours I was in such pain that I could only wryth in bed clutching head. I had to be in a completely dark room and then, even with the 5mg of Valium they supplied before the procedure, 10mg Percocet we'd gotten from a concerned friend, and 5mg of Vicoden I had left over from a previous injury I was still in pain and not unconscious. Then suddenly, by the fifth hour (about 8 o'clock), it was gone. I didn't feel stupid as if I were high, just that the pain was gone. The part that surprised me the most was that I was finally able to open my eyes and when I did, I could see. I could see things I couldn't see before - damn, so that's what I look like?

I got a bit of a lesson in humility last weekend. You see, I was sick with flu and with that I'd gained some dizziness with the threat of emptying my stomach every time I stood up. So, what was the lesson? The lesson was that the world moves on. The fact that I couldn't even stand did not prevent a record storm from hitting our area.

Friday morning I was sick as a dog (not too sure where that metafore comes from, kinda odd isn't it?) and decided I wouldn't bother with the whole "work-thing" so I stayed home and sulked in the dark. Yup, the power went out because it was storming, and in my neighborhood that means the power goes out. No sooner had it come back on did my phone ring; work was on the other end. Long story but it went down fast. No sooner did I hang up with my boss did the power go out again. So I peeked out my front door and snapped this picture. Then I realized that I had nothing in my driver-side window to keep all that water out.

Dizzy as I was at the time, I ran outside and threw some plastic in the window vowing to assess the damage later (that didn't happen till Monday morning, oh what a treat).

So, here's my front yard mid Friday morning. Notice the palm tree that I wish would just die and fall over because I am too lazy to actually go out there and pull it on my own. That water is already about 10 to 15 feet up in my yard.

This photo was taken during a "lull" in the storm but I still managed to get an excellent halo of my finger (upper left). That is a lot of water man, a lot of water.
Later in the day, the power's out again and I am trying to keep from throwing up when I hear this crash in my office. I make my way to the office door when I see that water has made its way through the back door. So I grab the dirty laundry and dump it all on the floor. Yeah, its getto but it sopped up a lot of water. Assessing the damage I discover the wall between my office and weight room has soaked up a deal of the water, which I thought was very considerate of it. I mean really, all it was doing was standing there holding up the ceiling. M's computer desk too a nice drink and so did both of my book shelves, several reams of drawing paper, a few books, and some pillows. Needless to say, I like to keep things on the floor for just such an emergency. I am considering rethinking my strategy though.
This next photo is after I got the washer going (you guessed it, the power's back on) and took a break from stumbling around saving the world. The water has reached the house and the sky has not gotten any thinner.
And as this next shot will show, I now have waterfront property. Maybe I should show this to a real estate agent and see if we can't just bump the price of my pad up a bit. Comes complete with decorative floating palm tree.

This cold/pain in the brain/flu thing I've had this past week is finally starting to subside. Monday I had a bit of a sore throat and felt kinda run down but I figured it was because what little sleep I'd gotten last weekend was spent with my mouth agape. It happens. Because I worked through the whole deal some of my colleagues think I was contagious and may have passed it on to them. Well, I probably was, but according to many sources (google it you lazy bum) the contagious period extends to a week following. So, even if I took a day off it really wouldn't have mattered.

Yesterday, I headed to the store for more snot rags when I noticed the sign to the spa next door: Couples Massage $70/Person Is it customary to go Dutch on a couples massage? If so, why not just call it a buddy massage? Or, non-solo massage (as opposed to the Han Solo massage, which is much different)? Come on now, they didn't say "Massage" or "Orgy Massage." Couples Massage kind of implies two people.

Why doesn't the grocery store have facial tissue next to the cold medicine?