an empty place v3.5

M and I bought an elliptical this weekend. It's a neat thing right there, easily assembled in about an hour or two (with distraction) and looks easy enough to use. I watched last night as M gave it its inaugural spin; forward and back she moved with grace and poise. Each step flowed into the next as she trotted her way toward leandom. Then it was my turn. The first dozen or so steps were disjointed, forced, and sloppy but I got the hang of it. Eventually I decided to try slipping into reverse as M had done so gracefully. I slowed the machine down and attempted to step in the most unnatural way possible - backwards. The machine learched forward then back and hopped to the side as I tried one after the next in reverse. After nearly flipping the death machine I decided my father's advice was best heeded "forward never straight, never look back". The next thing I knew five minutes had passed, my legs were like jelly and I was fumbling my way off The Stepper From Hell. I'll stick with flailing about on the treadmill for now.