an empty place v3.5

It was incredibly difficult to get on the treadmill this morning. This past week has been difficult as far as training goes. I just can't seen to get the drive I had a year ago. Managing both a restrictive eating plan as well as an exercise routine seems daunting to say the least. Absolutely everything seems to get in the way and for the past three weeks now I have had an insatiable appetite. I just can't seem to get full. My stomach will, at times, physically feel like it is going to burst and I will still be famished. Its bizaar, I can't remember ever being this hungry. And this only weakens my willpower. But I've lost 5 pounds since last Monday so that isn't too bad I guess.

Talks have started again regarding medicating Thing Two. My argument against it is simple, he should be taught that a pill will not solve his problems. My mother insists that he is the spitting image of me and the way I acted as a child and I've learned to control the impulsive behavior, loud out bursts, hypertensive behavior, and emotional state a good 90% of the time. No, I am not where I think I should be in life but you know what, humility is a gift.

M's argument is manifold and envolves me getting medicated as well. She believes that it will only help him (and me). This is a tough one for me, I loath the thought of dependance and it kills me to think that I may be making a choice for Thing Two that will adversely shape his ability to stand on his own. But then, if I don't do it, will he turn out like me?