an empty place v3.5

And in the end you'll pack up and fly down south,
Hide your head in the sand,
Just another sad old man,
All alone and dying of cancer.

-- Pink Floyd "Dogs"

M and I are not pet people. We don't really like animals either. Sure, they're cute and cuddly but the shine wears off as soon as they deside to piss some where and you don't find it until you find yourself in a drowsy stooper at the butt-crack-o-dawn trying to figure out if the water cooloer is leaking or if you just pissed yourself but your own crotch doesn't feel wet and the cooler is in a different room.

Our recent attempts failed with the delivery of two dogs to the pound and me exclaiming that not another animal would be brought back into this house. Not to worry, I've been informed by my mother-in-law that Sadie and Sophie (no, we did not name these evil animals) had been adopted. You see, my mother-in-law likes animals more than she likes people so when she gives advice about animals, I take it, and when she says something about the placement of animals, I believe her. I bet she would make a killing training animals, that's how good she is with them. Too bad she isn't as good with people.

Thursday, M finds "Lawman" on the SPCA website and falls in love. In her defense, she has mentioned several times over the past hundred years we've been together that she really liked Greyhounds. After trying to convince her via email, phone, and in person that we do not want to get another pet, I lose.

This is what the SPCA had to say about Lawman:
"This gentle giant is already a retiree! Lawman is a 2 year old Greyhound that retired from the race track this year. His beautiful and distinct features are common of Greyhounds, and his short tan coat is very soft. Lawman is housebroken and walks well on a leash, but has not had much training outside of the track. The free obedience training at the SPCA would be great for this big boy! He is very friendly and great with children over 10. He doesn’t get along well with other dogs or cats, but his sweet natured disposition will warm you over in a second! Come and see Lawman at the SPCA today!"

But what they don't tell you is that he's not available for adoption because he is going to be on TV. So bad so sad bubye.

Well, M saw another one that she just fell in love with. But, they tell her she can't have this one either because it just got there and hasn't been processed. They tell her if she comes back tomorrow (meaning yesterday) she check to see if she's available. Well, Friday comes and M goes. Gloria, as the dog was named, had been checked in but hadn't been spayed yet so we have until this afternoon to get her. I hate pets.